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“As a vegan…”

“When you buy milk, you are paying to rape a cow!!!” he yells, ignoring the disbelief and laughter from the carnists around him. The room is completely silent for a beat, before the raging debate continues.

The most politically-charged and contentious three words in the English language, without exception, are “As a Vegan…” (although “I voted Brexit” comes in a close second). As soon as you hear “Well, the vegan lifestyle…” or “When I became vegan..”, your mind’s eye conjures up a Namaste-ing, hippy, dreadlocked preacher with a (vegan, reduced salt tortilla) chip on their shoulder. They moan on and on about how animals have feelings and how we are all animals-exhausting. You just want to get home, put your feet up and have a cup of tea. Is that too much to ask? Well, as you swirl in your milk-and-one-sugar, consider the rights you have, as the creature with the most power (merely as a result of being at the right place, at the right time), to hurt, deprive and kill your fellow beings. This animal, with its spatial awareness, intelligence and emotional vocabulary, may not be able to discuss Platonism with you, but does that mean you can eat it? Does that mean you can force a cow’s pregnancy, purely for her milk (which is, as a certain vegan nutritionist put it, definitely not made for human consumption), then kill her child?

But here I go again, the annoying vegan voice in your head. The thing is-I’m not a vegan. I have been a vegetarian my whole life, and I’ve tried buying soya milk, vegan cheese and the rest, but being vegan has always seemed a step too far. I’d be worried about getting the right nutrition in my diet, if my daily diet of garlic bread and misery wasn’t enough to confirm that I don’t care about my body, but the heavy prices and organisational skills required were very daunting to a full-time student. In an average week, it would take me three hours to prepare my vegan meals and cost £15 extra, not to mention the fact that I couldn’t eat macaroni and cheese, and I’d be disregarding the importance of eating as a family that my parents hold dear. Being a vegan is entirely possible, and morally/ethically plausible, it just requires an amount of will-power that I’m not sure I’ll ever possess. For now, I sit in Vegan CP, take my notes diligently and keep my head down. One day, armed with some vegan-substitute macaroni and cheese (!!!), I think I’ll make the switch. But for now, get off your high horse vegans!

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