After Mr Whitefield’s captivating discourse last week, I started thinking about what my favourite first date would look like. And quite frankly I have no idea. On the one hand you would want to get to know the person, talk to them and spend what I like to call a “Hollywood first date”. All that sounds good on paper but you and me both know that it’s never that romantic and something always goes wrong. Maybe that's quite a depressing view on love but I would prefer to be honest than to live a dream.
So then... wouldn’t going to the cinema be quite perfect?
My reasoning comes from the fact that if the date is going badly, at least you can spend an alright time. And if the film is great, you will have something to talk about later. Besides, you can always go out for food before or after the cinema. During the actual viewing you can either dream about what your kids will look like or hope that the film will soon end so that you can leave, and talk trash about the date with your friends (your partner is probably doing the same).
Of course this isn’t for everyone. Some people like dates full of food, others like dates when they’re surrounded by other people. Although, I think you can never go wrong with a movie, especially when you might not know your plus-one very well. It is a good first date baseline considering you don't know about their interests yet. Plus, the BFI Southbank cinema always has great films, and the tickets are £3 for people 25 and under if booked in advance. That’s a shout.
Personally, since you asked, my favourite and only date so far was a catastrophe. The guy took me to a place called Wingstop in Covent Garden and didn't know I was a vegetarian.
You might be thinking “Hey, that's your fault for being a vegetarian”. Fair enough.
But it would have been much less awkward if he had asked me out to the movies.
Yet, to a certain extent, if it’s not really your thing or theirs, you don’t need to make it an official date, people just want to get to know each other. So, hanging around a park, someone’s house, or even McDonald’s can be fun. Our generation puts so much emphasis on how the structure of dating should look that we don't even leave time to get to know each other - the relationship ends before it has even begun.
I say, just go with the flow. If you like the person, why not ask them what they’re doing this weekend? Maybe don’t ask them if they want to marry you (you don’t want to scare them away) but don’t stop yourself because of societal pressures and standards. Just go for it, what's the worst that can happen? At least, if you take the first step then you will know if they feel the same way about you... or not.
Be clear and don’t send mixed signals because, sure, we might all want that mysterious motorcyclist but deep down we just all want to feel appreciated by someone else. So, I dare you to ask someone out to the cinema, if that's a friend, a family member or a date. I know you won’t regret it.