“It’s obviously because you’re not as attractive as you think you are, and although you tell yourself that every human being has the same intrinsic value and is worthy of love, you are a sad (and perhaps the only) exception to that rule. You might as well give up now and save everyone years of misery” – That mean voice inside your head, probably
We’ve all been the third wheel at some point. It feels slightly pathetic if you’re reading into it too much, and sometimes you might not even notice you are until someone points it out to you. It’s that painful self-awareness that creates that moment of panic when you wonder what’s wrong with you and if there’s some kind of major character defect that’s standing between you and happiness. Well, I promise you there isn’t!
Even if it is just for a millisecond, I’d like you to consider this: of all of the people you’ve met in your (barely) seventeen years of existence, how many have you actually been attracted to? How many did you have a big fat crush on? How many did you actively pursue? In fact, how many people have you even met? I highly doubt that it’s been enough to meet the love of your life; I don’t even know if I even believe that there is such a thing. What I do know, is that it’s perfectly normal to be single.
Maybe you just want someone to tell you how smart, pretty and funny you are all the time (me too!) The thing is though, we might just be setting ourselves up for disappointment. I’ve never told anyone I’ve had a crush on that I’m attracted to them. Neither have most of my friends. If everyone you’ve ever met is as wimpy as we are, then even if they thought you were wonderful in every way possible, you would never know. Besides, having someone infatuated with you would probably get on your nerves and perhaps even make you feel guilty for not being able to reciprocate that intensity of feeling. The next time you feel completely blech about yourself, please just know that you are as smart and funny and amazing as you think you are, and you don’t need anyone else to tell you that, you little narcissist.
Almost everyone loves love, and I’m sure that love is beautiful and all-consuming and fills people up with all kinds of warm and gooey feelings. I’m sure it can be transformative, and that your significant other can quickly become one of the most important and trusted people in your life. But how often does is that actually true for people our age? Bitter and jaded as I am, looking on the outside in, it seems that relationships can be just as messy and boring and pointless as any of the things described above.
Having a boyfriend for the sake of having one is easy, you could have a new one every week. But you deserve better, and if that means waiting, then wait.
To any readers that are in love,
I hope it’s as magical and exciting for you as all the One Direction songs say it is.
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